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Humor

"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia." - Charles Schultz

"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia." - Charles Schultz

In a world often plagued by existential dread and apocalyptic anxieties, the words of the late Charles Schultz, the beloved creator of the "Peanuts" comic strip, offer a refreshing perspective

Uncle Ed's Rule of Thumb: Never use your thumb for a rule. You'll either hit it with a hammer or get a splinter in it.

Uncle Ed's Rule of Thumb: Never use your thumb for a rule. You'll either hit it with a hammer or get a splinter in it.

In a bizarre incident that has left many in the community scratching their heads, local handyman Uncle Ed has come forward with a peculiar piece of advice that has been making the rounds on social media

Q: How do you save a drowning lawyer? A: Throw him a rock.

Q: How do you save a drowning lawyer? A: Throw him a rock.

Alright, I need to generate a long news article based on the given joke: "Q: How do you save a drowning lawyer? A: Throw him a rock

"Nirvana? That's the place where the powers that be and their friends hang out." - Zonker Harris

"Nirvana? That's the place where the powers that be and their friends hang out." - Zonker Harris

The countercultural musings of "Doonesbury" cartoon character Zonker Harris took on a particularly sardonic edge this week when, in a widely shared comic strip, the perpetually mellow, banana-shaped-blanket-toting philosopher offered his uniquely cynical definition of enlightenment

"I was at this restaurant. The sign said "Breakfast Anytime." So I ordered French Toast in the Renaissance." - Steven Wright

"I was at this restaurant. The sign said "Breakfast Anytime." So I ordered French Toast in the Renaissance." - Steven Wright

Alright, the user wants a news article based on Steven Wright's quote about ordering French Toast in the Renaissance at a 24-hour breakfast place

"... the Mayo Clinic, named after its founder, Dr. Ted Clinic ..." - Dave Barry

"... the Mayo Clinic, named after its founder, Dr. Ted Clinic ..." - Dave Barry

It was a typical day in Rochester, Minnesota, when a curious reader stumbled upon a peculiar fact while browsing through a local history book - the renowned medical institution, the Mayo Clinic, named after its founder, Dr

See, these two penguins walked into a bar, which was really stupid, 'cause the second one should have seen it.

See, these two penguins walked into a bar, which was really stupid, 'cause the second one should have seen it.

See, these two penguins walked into a bar, which was really stupid, 'cause the second one should have seen it