"Some primal termite knocked on wood. And tasted it, and found it good. And that is why your Cousin May Fell through the parlor floor today." - Ogden Nash

In the quiet town of Mayville, a bizarre incident took place yesterday, leaving residents both amused and alarmed. Cousin May, a well-known local figure, fell through the parlor floor of her historic family home, sparking a flurry of questions about the structural integrity of the town's older buildings. The peculiar cause of the mishap? Termites, those tiny, wood-eating insects, had been silently munching away at the wooden beams beneath the floor for years, weakening them to the point of collapse.

The incident unfolded in the late afternoon when Cousin May, known for her love of antiques and old books, was crossing the parlor to retrieve a rare edition of Pride and Prejudice. As she stepped near the center of the room, the wooden floorboards beneath her gave way, sending her tumbling into the crawlspace below. Miraculously, she escaped with only a few bruises and a thoroughly soaked dress, though her prized book was not so fortunate.

While the townsfolk breathed a sigh of relief upon hearing of Cousin May’s narrow escape, the event brought to light a growing concern about the unseen threats lurking within Mayville’s aging infrastructure. “This isn’t the first time something like this has happened,” said local handyman and carpenter, Joe Thompson. “These old houses were built to last, but they weren’t built to outlast the termites. It’s a ticking time bomb, if you ask me.”

The origins of the problem, however, stretch back much further than the lifespan of Mayville’s charming Victorian homes. Experts say the termites responsible for the damage are part of a colony that has been active in the area for decades, quietly feasting on the wooden foundations of homes, barns, and even the iconic town hall. “Termites are incredibly efficient,” explained Dr. Margaret Green, an entomologist from the nearby university. “They work in silence, breaking down wood into a nutrient-rich paste that they share with the rest of the colony. By the time you notice the damage, it’s often too late.”

The incident has prompted a wave of inspections across the town, with homeowners clamoring to check their properties for signs of termite activity. Local exterminators are working overtime, using everything from chemical treatments to bait traps to combat the pesky insects. “Termites might be small, but they can bring down a house,” warned Tom Harris, owner of Mayville Pest Control. “We’ve seen it before, and we’ll see it again if people don’t take this seriously.”

Cousin May, ever the resilient soul, has taken the incident in stride. “Well, I guess this gives me an excuse to finally redo the parlor,” she said with a laugh during an interview from her temporary quarters above the local diner. “But let this be a warning to everyone else. If your floor feels a little soft under your feet, don’t wait until you’re halfway to the crawlspace to do something about it.”

In the meantime, the town is rallying around Cousin May, organizing a fundraising campaign to help cover the cost of repairs. A bake sale, charity auction, and even a termite-themed BBQ are all in the works, with proceeds going directly toward restoring the historic home to its former glory.

As for the termites? They remain as elusive as ever, their underground kingdom untouched by the commotion they’ve caused. But for the people of Mayville, this is more than just a close call—it’s a wake-up call. After all, as one resident quipped, “If Cousin May can fall through the floor, none of us are safe.”

In the end, the incident serves as a reminder of the often-overlooked creatures that share our world, and the profound impact they can have on our lives. And as for the offending termite colony? They can rest assured that their days of unchecked feasting are numbered.