Mitchell's Law of Committees: Any simple problem can be made insoluble if enough meetings are held to discuss it.

In the heart of corporate America, where the Quartz clock and the Apple watch dominate the wrists, a new phenomenon has emerged that Siemens might still have in its R&D labs but apparently did not patent yet. Meetings have gone from sporadic, necessary gatherings to near-daily rituals as essential as taking your vitamins or brushing your teeth in the morning.

The hallowed halls of corporate offices are echoing with the same refrain, "Let's take this to the committee." This is as if some bureaucratic boogie-woogie dance has overtaken the seriousness of events like a Python swallowing an egg – utterly consuming until an undistinguishable bulge is left in the snake's midriff. Each department, like an eccentric aunt, produces a committee adamant on carving its two cents in rune into virtually everything.

Mitchell's Law of Committees hasn't clocked its origin yet; perhaps it is accruing interest in some vault in Colorado, gathering dust. Nonetheless, the law holds true: Any simple problem can be made insolvable if enough meetings are held to discuss it. "A camel is a horse designed by committee," quipped Churchill, but today's corporatists have outdone themselves, fashioning problems into extinct dinosaurs, too complex for modern solutions.

Every day, troops of faithful followers march into meeting rooms carrying their tablets like the Ten Commandments. They arrive with the fervor of temple-goers, only to leave like disillusioned donors at a Ponzi scheme, wondering how a straightforward query mushroomed into a multi-agenda monstrosity. Meanwhile, the Thompson's report on the Johnson's appendix decision has been scheduled concurrently with the Smyth-proposal on eradicating paper clips, a Constitutionally protected office supply, in Conference Room B.

Ask any cubicle dweller: the prospects of turning problems into yawning chasms are reaching record-breaking depths. But lest we usurp matrix theory and quantum entanglement, the solution is not to go meeting-less – though some CEOs would clink their glasses to that – but rather, to inject a dogmatic dose of the KISS principle, Keep It Simple, Stupid.

A five-long paragraph ordeal notwithstanding, the last century is filled with triumphs for mankind. But will our legacy be a existence encapsulated in a string of meetings, so interconnected that no one will dare disturb the sequence. After all, by referencing Mitchell's Law, isn't it about time we reconsider the balance of iron and blood in our everyday grind?