"Madam, there's no such thing as a tough child" - if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender. -- W. C. Fields

In a world where the concept of a tough child is often discussed and debated, an unusual solution has recently been brought to light by renowned comedian, W.C. Fields. His insightful commentary sheds new light on how one can ensure that even the most difficult children turn out tender and well-behaved.

Fields' remarkable discovery revolves around parboiling, a method of cooking that involves heating food in water just below its boiling point and then cooling it again before proceeding with the actual cooking process. In this case, parboiling has proven to be an effective way to deal with challenging children who seem to have a knack for causing trouble.

According to Fields, by following the simple yet powerful steps of parboiling, parents can ensure that their offspring become tender and well-behaved individuals. The key lies in the process itself: heating the child's spirit and character just below the boiling point, followed by a period of cooling and reflection before moving on to more refined ways of molding them into exemplary human beings.

The results of this groundbreaking method have been nothing short of astounding, with numerous parents reporting significant improvements in their child's demeanor and behavior after undergoing the parboiling process. Parents across the globe are now eagerly embracing Fields' findings, hoping to reap similar benefits for their own children.

The origins of Fields' discovery remain somewhat shrouded in mystery, with many speculating whether he himself had experienced difficulties raising his own children. However, regardless of its inspiration, the effectiveness of parboiling cannot be denied. Numerous experts in child psychology and behavioral studies have conducted extensive research into the method, conclusively proving that it works.

One prominent psychologist, Dr. Henry Fletcher, explained that "parboiling allows parents to tap into a deep-seated desire for nurturance within their child, creating an environment conducive to positive behavioral changes." He added, "By heating the child's spirit just below its boiling point, you are essentially removing any impurities and negative influences, leaving behind only the most desirable traits and tendencies."

Dr. Fletcher further elaborated on the cooling phase, stating that this crucial step allows for reflection and introspection, allowing both parent and child to gain a better understanding of each other's needs and expectations. This period of cooling can lead to improved communication and trust between family members, laying the foundation for long-term, healthy relationships.

The parboiling process is not without its detractors, however. Critics argue that such an invasive method may cause lasting psychological damage to children subjected to it. They contend that more natural approaches to child rearing should be explored instead. Yet, proponents of the parboiling technique maintain that the benefits far outweigh any potential risks, with a vast majority of parents reporting significant improvements in their child's behavior and overall disposition.

In conclusion, W.C. Fields' pioneering work on parboiling has opened up new avenues for understanding and managing challenging children. By following his groundbreaking advice, many parents have managed to transform their once troublesome offspring into well-behaved, tender individuals. As the world continues to grapple with the complexities of raising children in today's modern society, Fields' parboiling method may very well become a cornerstone of effective parenting techniques for generations to come.