"Damn braces." - William Blake, "Proverbs of Hell"

The quiet hum of the orthodontist’s office, usually a soundtrack of gentle whirring and the rustle of bibs, was punctuated today by a single, profoundly unsettling utterance: “Damn braces.” It wasn’t a shout, not exactly. It was a low, almost defeated murmur, delivered by William Blake, a 67-year-old retired librarian and, until this morning, a staunch advocate for the meticulous organization of Dewey Decimal classifications. The source of Blake’s distress? A newly installed set of nickel-titanium braces, a necessary, if aesthetically challenging, step in his long-delayed pursuit of a perfectly aligned smile.

The incident, captured on the office’s security camera and quickly circulating on local social media under the hashtag #BlakeBraces, has sparked a surprisingly intense debate about the emotional toll of orthodontic treatment. Dr. Evelyn Reed, Blake’s orthodontist and owner of Reed Orthodontics, initially dismissed the outburst as a momentary lapse. “Mr. Blake is a very particular man,” she explained, carefully choosing her words. “He appreciates precision and order. The braces, understandably, represent a disruption to that. We’ve seen similar reactions, though rarely expressed with such… directness.”

However, the video quickly revealed a deeper current of frustration. Blake wasn’t simply complaining about the discomfort, though that was certainly a factor. He was lamenting the loss of his ability to comfortably eat his beloved sourdough bread, the restriction on playing his cello – a passion he’s cultivated for over four decades – and the general feeling of being trapped in a metallic, uncomfortable prison for his mouth.

“It’s not just the physical discomfort,” Blake later elaborated in a brief interview, his face still etched with a weary frown. “It’s the symbolism. It’s a visible reminder of imperfection, of a process that’s inherently about correcting something that was once considered ‘right.’ It’s… humbling, to say the least.” He paused, adjusting his glasses. “And frankly, it’s a bit embarrassing. I’m a librarian! I deal with the beauty of language, the elegance of knowledge. Now I look like a particularly grumpy robot.”

The reaction online has been predictably varied. Some users expressed sympathy, sharing their own experiences with braces and the associated challenges. Others, perhaps fueled by Blake’s bluntness, offered a more cynical perspective. “Maybe he should have read a little more ‘Proverbs of Hell’ before agreeing to this,” one comment read. “It’s called ‘Damn braces,’ for a reason.”

Dr. Reed, however, is taking a more measured approach. She’s implemented a new “Comfort Consultation” for patients, offering detailed explanations of the treatment process, addressing potential anxieties, and providing a wider range of dietary recommendations. “We need to acknowledge that orthodontic treatment isn’t just about straightening teeth,” she stated. “It’s about a significant lifestyle adjustment. We want to make that transition as smooth as possible.”

The incident has also prompted a broader conversation about the often-overlooked psychological impact of cosmetic procedures. Experts are suggesting that patients, particularly older adults undergoing orthodontic treatment, should be prepared for a period of adjustment and potential emotional distress.

Blake, meanwhile, is diligently following his treatment plan, albeit with a slightly more subdued demeanor. He’s been experimenting with softer foods and has invested in a specialized cello strap to alleviate pressure on his jaw. And, as he put it, “I’m slowly, painstakingly, learning to accept the fact that sometimes, the pursuit of perfection can be a rather frustrating endeavor.” The security footage, now widely viewed, serves as a poignant reminder that even the most meticulous among us can be brought to a standstill by a simple, and profoundly felt, expression of discontent: “Damn braces.”